Men May Not Understand Women After All!

men and women

Finally scientific proof and a perfectly logical explanation for that long standing belief that men do not understand women.

An article in the Pacific Standard says that the researchers conclude that “From an evolutionary point of view, accurate interpretations of other men’s, rather than women’s, thoughts and intentions—especially threatening cues—may have been a factor contributing to survival in ancient times. As men were more involved in hunting and territory fights, it would have been important to them to be able to predict and foresee the intentions and actions of their male rivals.”

It goes on to say that men’s strength in reading the faces of other men is important even today in business situtations and that explains why there is such good male bonding!

Posted in People, Relationships, Sociology | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Lasagna For Lunch.

Lasagna - Messy 500

The Jaguar Lady and Jay Ponti graced us with their presence last night and disappeared this morning. They are on their way back to the USA and we will miss them.

Jay decided that Ranjan and I should be exposed to his culinary skills and cooked a lasagna which was simply out of this world. Out of consideration for my sensibilities he had made it a vegetarian one but he slayed me with his more than generous use of cheese.

It took all of two hours of siesta to recover from that indulgence.

Thank you Jay. Come back soon.

Posted in Food, Gratitude | Tagged , | 7 Comments

Sauce For The Gander Is Sauce For The Goose!

goose-and-gander

I learnt a new word this morning. And how! Degendering.

de·gen·der (d-jndr)
tr.v. de·gen·dered, de·gen·der·ing, de·gen·ders
To make gender-neutral, as by eliminating reference to gender or sex.

Only yesterday, a lady blogger friend and I had a discussion online which went something like this.

Me: Will we ever have global peace?

LF: NO WAY, as long as man is in charge!

Me: There!  You can write a post saying how it will be possible only if all global leaders are women!

LF: If two women in a kitchen cannot agree, how in hell would female global leaders bring around world peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Okay, let us compromise then. Let us make all global leaders transgenders.

LF: Great idea!

And this morning I get to read this very interesting article in the Time Magazine. I am wondering if I should buy the book! Should be interesting for someone who repeatedly tried to get his wife to go to work so that he could be a house husband when it would have been scandalous.

Posted in Family, Humor, People, Relationships, Sociology | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Anger.

I hope that you enjoy reading this post on the weekly Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where eleven of us write on the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by Conrad The Old Fossil. The ten other bloggers who write regularly are, in alphabetical order, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, Padmum, Paul, Rohit,Shackman, The Old Fossil and Will. Do drop in on their blogs and see what their take is on this week’s topic. Since some of them may post late, do give some allowance for that too!

I get angry. I am human. But, it is rarely that I do and that anger passes away before it can do any harm to me or others. It is rare that it becomes destructive. All that is in the present tense. In the past my anger has resulted in violence and harm but after I took to meditation, it simply became manageable. I did not have to go to any Anger Management Course or for counseling. It simply happened by itself.

Please turn on the speakers before you press the play button if you want to understand what anger can do to a man. Discretionary viewing is advised as the language is devastating.

What this guy and others with similar dispositions need is a dose of Thich Nhat Hanh.

“Just by breathing deeply on your anger, you will calm it. You are being mindful of your anger, not suppressing it…touching it with the energy of mindfulness. You are not denying it at all. When I speak about this to psychotherapists, I have some difficulty. When I say that anger makes us suffer, they take it to mean that anger is something negative to be removed. But I always say that anger is an organic thing, like love. Anger can become love. Our compost can become a rose. If we know how to take care of our compost…Anger is the same. It can be negative when we do not know how to handle it, but if we know how to handle our anger, it can be very positive. We do not need to throw anything away,”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh. In For a Future to Be Possible: Buddhist Ethics for Everyday Life

Posted in Buddhism, Humor, Management, Meditation, People, Self Improvement, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

Bombay Beach.

When I came across the name Bombay Beach, USA I was intrigued. I carried out some research and am not only intrigued, I am stunned that something like this can exist!

Neither the clip nor the Wikipedia link give you as much as you can find about this place from the film Bombay Beach.

It took some effort but it was worthwhile finding out about this town and all that it stands for. The original Bombay now known as Mumabai is a completely different cup of tea!

Posted in Movies, People | Tagged | 12 Comments

Serenity.

Please click on the image to enlarge it. It is worth the trouble.

554858_577259835626019_563259792_n

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged | 13 Comments

A Matter Of Perspective II

Time for another sequel.

I did not quite open a Pandora’s Box. At least not in the way I thought I would.

Two responses were humbling. I leave my readers to go to the comments and see the one that stands out for the pain that it conveys.

The other from a very dear friend, a man not usually driven to dramatics who mailed his response to me in a separate email. He said “That’s us – the big bad – some day we’ll be as moral and wonderful as everybody else.” and he enclosed this clip.

I can identify with both because I too am in pain with what is going on in my own country. A great country that can achieve much more than what it has but is managed by a bunch of corrupt clowns who are not allowed to do the least amount of governing by a short sighted and immature opposition. A country that offers much to be proud of but at the same time much to be ashamed of also.

I suppose that we are all the same every where. Good people with bad governments.

Posted in Blogging, India/Pakistan, Nostalgia, Patriotism, People | Tagged | 8 Comments

A Matter Of Perspective.

cafe-coffee-day_505_072312111529

(Overheard at Cafe Coffee Day – PLEASE READ TILL THE END) Cafe Coffee Day is the Indian equivalent of Starbucks.

THE FAILED STATE !

Boy : It is a failed state I tell you ! They just had an election but nothing will change – just wait and see they will not be able to pass any meaningful laws and bills to alleviate the suffering of it’s people . They will continue spending on arms and the Army despite being broke with a huge external debt !

Girl : Yes I agree

Boy : We have invited their leader once again but it will lead to nothing I tell you ! They will never change – they are the most selfish nation on earth – no wonder nobody likes them .

Girl : Hmm

Boy : The culture of violence continues every single day – shootings , bombings , kidnappings , killing of innocent people including women and children ; even teachers & school kids are not spared .

Girl : Yes terrible !

Boy : Not satisfied with that they regularly send their people to kill innocents in other countries also!

Girl : Yes , dreadful !

Boy : And they hob nob with China shamelessly !

Girl : Shocking !

Boy : The pity is they have such great culture , music , food , art , brains and natural resources – what a waste !

Girl : Tsk tsk !

Boy : Their human rights record is pathetic – they jail people without a trial in secret jails and torture them , discriminate against minority communities ( though the leader is also from a minority community ) , don’t pay women equal wages etc

Girl : Really ? I did not know that .

Boy : And the tragedy is that they do not protect their poor people from repeated natural calamities especially if it happens in the poorer belts .

Girl : So sad !

Boy : Yes it’ true . I wonder why anyone in their right minds would want to go there – it is a completely FAILED STATE !

Girl : I agree , Pakistan is a failed state !

Boy : Pakistan ? Who said anything about Pakistan ? I am talking about USA ! Didn’t you hear anything I have been saying ? I am not paying the bill for this coffee !

Thank you Fly-On-Cafe-Coffee-Day’s-Wall.

At a time when changes to the the immigration policy of the USA stand to affect or have an effect on Indian diaspora or wannabe emigres, this comes as a refreshing change.

Posted in Humor, India/Pakistan, Politics, Raves and Rants | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

Racism.

Okay, I am now opening a Pandora’s Box, but I hope that it generates some introspection on both sides of the fence.

I just read this piece called My Racist Encounter At The White House Correspondents’ Dinner in The Blog.

I also went through the entire section covering 2419 comments which took me a while to understand various approaches to the reality of racism.

I wrote a comment ” Balderdash Lady, stop whining and exercise an option that you have. You don’t have to live there. Go live where you are treated with the dignity that you think you deserve. No one is forcing you to live there. It is their land, their home and their own value system that is on display. You don’t have to accept that.” On reflection I decided that it is best left unpublished and deleted it without publishing it.

Having been at the receiving end of racism in the West, Australia and also strangely enough, from a couple of white persons in India, I can relate to Ms. Jeelani’s angst, but and that is a big but, as I wanted to convey to her, she has a choice of living in a place where she will not be exposed to that. Her own land of origin from where her parents had emigrated, presumably one of my subcontinental countries.

What she would find in that sub continent will not be any different. Though it may not directly be racial, she can most certainly experience other forms of prejudice from poorly educated people doing unskilled jobs like Security detail. A classic example could be linguistic. In my home state for instance, if you do not understand and speak Marathi, you will receive a similar treatment from the cops and watchmen and other low level employees who savour such moments to exercise power over someone, in their eyes, superior, but different and fair game. If she is from Pakistan, which is most likely, and if she is a Shia or a Christian, she can expect worse. If she is from Bangladesh, if she is from one of the two main stream political parties, the other party will most certainly give her worse treatment than she received in Washington.

Grow up lady. This is the world. This is humanity. Ask yourself how you treated your fellow country of origin people when you last visited them. Would you like me to tell you how without ever having met you?

Posted in Blogging, India/Pakistan, People, Sarcasm, Sociology, Values | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

Letting Go.

I hope that you enjoy reading this post on the weekly Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where eleven of us write on the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by Maria The Silver Fox. The ten other bloggers who write regularly are, in alphabetical order, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, Padmum, Paul, Shackman, The Old Fossil and Will. Do drop in on their blogs and see what their take is on this week’s topic. Since some of them may post late, do give some allowance for that too!

Letting Go

That Buddhist practice of releasing pigeons to send peace out into the world is a very popular and emotionally appealing ritual which has become quite common among our political specimens too.  Apart from signifying the message of peace the releasing of pigeons also is symbolic of letting go of all forms of attachments.

As my regular readers know, I prefer to quote people who can do much better a job than I can and this time is no exception.  Paulo Coelho is no stranger to my readers and this is what he has to say about letting go.

“Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much I suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.”

How easy it is to pontificate like that and how difficult it is to let go! I keep wanting to give away many of my clothes that I never wear like my formal suits and jackets; like books that I am unlikely to read ever again’ vessels and dishes bought to set up a home away from home over twelve years ago and now just lying idle, etc and when I start to do something about that, I get all nostalgic and postpone the real act of getting rid of any of them. But get rid of them I must if I have to tick off all the items in my bucket list, and one of these days, I will let them all go.

I however cannot ever consider letting go of memories of a forty year long relationship with a remarkable woman and as masochistic as it may sound, I love to “turn on my emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss.” I do not think that any normal person will be able to do that.

To wind up, and to illustrate another angle to attachment and letting go, another story from the Zen treasury. I would like to reach the level of the Senior monk but I have a sneaking suspicion that even he is just pontificating and in his heart must be re-living the experience.
two-monks-by-artist-Paul-Davey

Two monks were making a pilgrimage to venerate the relics of a great Saint. During the course of their journey, they came to a river where they met a beautiful young woman — an apparently worldly creature, dressed in expensive finery and with her hair done up in the latest fashion. She was afraid of the current and afraid of ruining her lovely clothing, so asked the brothers if they might carry her across the river.

The younger and more exacting of the brothers was offended at the very idea and turned away with an attitude of disgust. The older brother didn’t hesitate, and quickly picked the woman up on his shoulders, carried her across the river, and set her down on the other side. She thanked him and went on her way, and the brother waded back through the waters.

The monks resumed their walk, the older one in perfect equanimity and enjoying the beautiful countryside, while the younger one grew more and more brooding and distracted, so much so that he could keep his silence no longer and suddenly burst out, “Brother, we are taught to avoid contact with women, and there you were, not just touching a woman, but carrying her on your shoulders!”

The older monk looked at the younger with a loving, pitiful smile and said, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her.”

 

Posted in Blogging, Buddhism, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , | 20 Comments