Giving.
By Rummuser. Filed in Uncategorized |
There is a saying in India that unless one empties one’s cash box, there will be no room for fresh cash to come in. I normally extend this to suit the occasion and say something like for the pocket to be replenished, it must keep getting emptied, or instead of the ‘pocket’, I would use ‘wallet’.
Recently, when reading a post by Maria the Silver Fox, I had commented that more difficult than giving is receiving with grace and gratitude. I suppose that, that is a topic worth a separate post in itself but I need to mention it here as I find it extremely difficult to write about giving without writing about receiving. This is because; I have been at the receiving end almost all my life and hardly ever been on the giving end.
It is said by many sages that it is by giving that one receives. To the best of my recollection, bar an occasional lapse or two, I have never been at the giving end but almost always at the receiving end. I suppose that I am the exception that proves the rule.
To start from my childhood, I received a great deal of love and all that it entails. As I started getting to be older, the story changed, I started receiving a great deal of punishment and scolding from my parents, teachers and other parent figures, though I suppose that all that was given to make me capable of receiving much worse in my adulthood. During childhood however, that kind receiving makes for a different perceptive. So, logically, since I had received so much of punishment and scolding, I should have been giving the same to my child or other younger children. This simply did not happen, as I am such a softy and a clown that it is beyond me to do that to a child.
Fast forward to employment and here again, I received a great deal of firing and punishments as a subordinate, but was simply incapable of giving the same to my subordinates when I moved into superior positions. Some mechanism in my psyche would appear to have been malfunctioning or totally absent. So, I ended up receiving more from the top about my lack of firmness. Something funny however happened here. I started receiving a great deal of support and cooperation and good performances from the crowd still working below me in the hierarchy and this was something that the top could not reconcile with their assessment of my softness or lack of hardness or whatever. I was therefore at both the receiving ends, one on a positive note and the other on the negative. I suppose that I was simply giving a lot of something that was working, without knowing that it was what was happening! This paradox continued till I finally retired from active employment and as I look back to that period of my life, I can’t but wonder as to what I gave against what I received and on balance it appeared that I received much more than I gave. So, one way or the other the adage proved to be true.
Materially, there is little that I can now give as the opportunities simply do not present themselves to me. I suppose that I can go looking for them, but I am not made that way. I am just too lazy. Other forms of giving, particularly of myself and my time, keeps happening as a matter of routine and I do not even think about those things as giving. It is just part of life. I however continue to get a lot of non material things from many sources, the main among them being the blogworld in which I have made such wonderful friends during the last year and a half or so. Without exception, I get a lot of indulgence and affection, even when I rib someone. So, I think that the adage works on this score too. On the other hand, when I read stories like this, I wonder if I would ever be able to live like that!
As I was giving the finishing touches to this post, I came across another very interesting article on ‘giving’, due to it being the season for giving. Please do give some time and read. I wish that I could have thought of that approach to the subject!
The principle of the balance, the yin and the yang, action and reaction et al suggests that a balanced life is what we need. But this is the greatest struggle of our lives, striking a balance. In the case of giving however, the balance is always in our favour when we give. We receive much more than we give.
Moral of the story – Give a little, but give. You will get a great deal more in return. That is the law of nature. The Sage has spoken. Now let us see what wisdom the OGO will come up with.
This post is the Loose Consortium Bloggers’ Friday post when Ashok, Conrad, Grannymar, Magpie11, Maria, Gaelikaa, Helen, Judy, Anu and Ginger write on the same topic. Please do visit the other blogs to taste the different flavours. Some of these bloggers may be preoccupied with Christmas so be a little indulgent in case they do not post or post late.
Saturday, December 26th 2009 at 01:53 |
When you speak of not giving, I laugh. It is your nature and your modesty is but one becoming part of it. We know you for what you are, care giver!
May you receive blessings throughout your new year and new decade! In order that you may redistribute them of course!!!!!!!!!!
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:13
Conrad, if I got you to laugh, I have achieved my purpose. I have taken your wish seriously and shall try my best to.
Saturday, December 26th 2009 at 02:20 |
I do so enjoy your musings! The people you use as examples are simply very interesting. And, they do their giving on the quiet. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas DAy! I’m having to share a computer with my daughter and grandchildren so I’m not able to post and blog as much as I would like. Merry Christmas!
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:12
Thank you Judy.
Saturday, December 26th 2009 at 05:19 |
Giving is like sex. The more you give the better it feels. Sorry for the analogy, but I think you get the point.
I love to give to people anonymously. To this day I have given and the people have no idea from whence it came.
Let’s see if the OGO can top this.
bikehikebabe Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 23:23
“Let’s see if the OGO can top this.”
I thought YOU were the “Oh Great One”.
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:06
Sorry to disappoint you BHB. I am only OLO! (Oh Lesser One)
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:11
OGO, I do indeed get the point. Only you can come up with that analogy. I think that you got confused. I am the GOM! Till BHB comes up with something else for me. To help her along, I have suggested that I be known as the OLO, Oh Lesser One.
Saturday, December 26th 2009 at 07:46 |
My experience is truly happy people don’t think in terms of giving and receiving, they think in terms of sharing. They feel blessed and can’t imagine not sharing that with others.
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:09
Cheerful Monk. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I am in total agreement.
Saturday, December 26th 2009 at 10:56 |
It is very important to learn how to receive as well as to give. Some people are very good at one, and not good at the other. It is better to strike a balance in this respect.
My association with India goes back to 1985, over 23 years, which is half of my life, so it is a lot of time as far as I’m concerned. I have sometimes found that many of the people who were my seniors in my working life could be extremely harsh, sometimes even to the level of abusive, towards their subordinates. This is not the way to get the best out of people. If you didn’t pick up those abusive tendencies yourself, it is very commendable, I think.
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:08
Ah, you have to listen to me abusing sometimes. The old tongawallahs of Bhopal would hang their heads in shame! The Lucknowi would disappear from view!
gaelikaa Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 21:07
Same here!
Sunday, December 27th 2009 at 00:11 |
Some people have a tendency of thinking that you must have more than enough before you give, which is why they never give in their lives. I am not sure how true it is that the more you give, the more you receive. I only give because of the satisfying feeling I always have after giving someone what he/she really needs. But I think I receive more often than I do give. Thank you for the great post. Before I forget, Let me thank you for the time you give by reading and commenting on my blog and the very informative articles you usually write for your blog: “Wisdom by Hindsight.” Wishing you a wonderful new year.
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:05
Lizwi, thanks for coming over and commenting. Please do so more often. I like to visit and comment on your blog. I find a lot of information there about South Africa which otherwise I would not come to know.
Sunday, December 27th 2009 at 06:45 |
May be it is late, but here I wish you a merry christmas. I was away from base and did not wish you earlier. I am sorry.
Like Conrad says, cant believe you when you say you dont give. If you dont you will not write about your friend Rajan or so many people about who you write. I find it true that the kind boss gets more done just like you say and when you are kind your giving.
I see a lot of people give when they dont have and I try to give as much as I can. I get a lot in return also and your advise is correct.
Nice to be back here dude. See more of me in the new year.
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:03
Nice to have you back Murphy and thank you for the belated greetings which I heartily reciprocate. You are welcome to your own conclusions and I have said all that I have to in my post. I am very glad however that you give and believe me, you will not regret it. I am very happy that I shall see more of you in the new year.
Sunday, December 27th 2009 at 07:48 |
I loved, loved, LOVED the second article. Thank you for that gift (or sharing)! I think it is human nature to want for things to be reciprocal – like one can somehow affect their karmic collisions. I want to believe that giving comes from being kind and is a happy form of sharing instead of from ritual pomp. But then even in the ritual lots of people are more considerate than usual, and that is a very good thing..
Nice post!
Rummuser Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 19:02
Thank you Ginger. Nice to have you comment so! I am flattered and speechless!
Sunday, December 27th 2009 at 21:13 |
As giving is better than receiving (in my opinion) I am now giving you a link you might wish to check out: bitchontheblog.wordpress.com
Be my guest
Ursula
Rummuser Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 19:02
Been there Ursula. Very nice blog. I wish you all the best with it.
Ursula Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 19:18
Ramana, please do not make fun of me: “NICE blog”? You are ruining my reputation.
Remember: You still owe me a dance and, whilst volatile, I am also loyal to the bitter end.
U
Rummuser Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 19:22
@Ursula: Dance we shall in London when I get there. Perhaps even in the rain which is most likely.
Loyalty is a very admirable quality. I don’t know about volatility though.