The Perfect Life.
By Rummuser. Filed in Uncategorized |
In the Christian tradition, from a life of leisure and happines, after Adam and Eve eat the fruit of knowledge they are condemned to work and this has created the prejudice that all work is punishment in the education systems that have followed the Christian philosophy. We in India have been influenced by this belief due to the British education system that was imposed on us by our colonial masters. Little has been done to undo that.
In the Indian philosophical system, as enumerated in our scriptures, the perfect life follows certain stages of life. They are Childhood; Student days; Householder stage; Reflection Stage and finally, Renunciation stage. There is nothing special about this being exclusively Indian, and can apply to any society except for the last part renunciation. In that stage, in old age, the husband and wife withdraw from all attachments, physical and mental and withdraw into the forests to meditate and await their death.
In all the stages however, there is an undercurrent of Dharma. Dharma means virtue, duty or law, but is mainly concerned with doing the right thing. It is the moral law that gives structure to each human being and the cosmos. The concept is aimed at leading people through their lives and is concerned with the achievable rather than the ideal. In its simplest form a dharmic life is one where one lives the way he would want others to let him live. This immediately means, not doing anything to anybody or anything that one would not be done to him/her. Thus, the concept of Ahimsa, not causing any kind of discomfort to other beings. Throughout the journey of life, one is expected to strive for the ideal but adapt to the possible and the practical. It is also taught that work is a privilege and not a duty to be performed for reward. Reward is to be expected but to be accepted in whatever form it arrives, expected or otherwise.
In modern India, that ideal is as good as dead. I believe that it is so because of our confused state of mind, neither completely Indian nor completely Western. The ideal life is practiced in the breach by a minuscule minority of Indians while the vast majority strives for the modern “Perfect Life”. What does this translate to? Simply stated the same thing as all the world strives for. Materially prosperous, modern life with security and all conveniences available to the world, particularly, the material conveniences available to the Western world.
This has brought about a great deal of conflict between the modern and the traditional and in one particular aspect of life, that is the family, the old traditions have, or are in the process of complete breakdown. From the Joint family system of the past, to the modern unitary families with limited accommodation unable to handle dependents due to space, resources etc, alienation and stress with particularly hard impacts on the aged has taken place and one of the most touching phenomenon is the pitiable condition of our old people’s homes.
In my personal life, I have tried to live the Perfect Life without much difficulty. I however must emphasize that the ideal is still elusive whereas the having to adapt to the possible and the practical is constant. In this process however, the other players in my life are striving for their own Perfect Life and there lies the rub. Their ideas of what is perfect and my idea of what is perfect are rarely common. The frustrating reality is the inability to follow the traditional dharmic stages, which I would dearly like to, due to the pull of the other dharmic compulsions. When I confronted my Guru about this frustrating reality, he simply said, “Do your duty with an attitude that it is a privilege, to the best of your ability and that is Dharma.” In other words, I cannot run away from my responsibilities because the others in my life have not or do not, live according to our Perfect Stages of Life!
It is a perfect life or what?
This post is the Loose Consortium Bloggers’ Friday post when Ashok, Conrad, Grannymar, Magpie11, Maria, Gaelikaa, Helen, Judy, Anu and Ginger write on the same topic. Please do visit the other blogs to taste the different flavours. Some of these bloggers may be preoccupied with examinations, family problems and/or romance, so be a little indulgent in case they do not post or post late.
Friday, January 29th 2010 at 20:39 |
If the others in your life have not run away then you must be providing a perfect life for them! Job well done I would say.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:45
Grannymar, you have a way of making the ridiculous into the sublime. Thank you.
Friday, January 29th 2010 at 21:09 |
Sounds like you are practicing up for the swami position. I do wonder that God wants us to live the perfect life, while throwing us into situations involving dilemmas that have no perfect answers, but seemingly only shameful compromises.
Regarding work as a punishment, indeed this is the belief of Christians, yet we also believe that work can become a joy. At the same time, unemployment seems to me an even greater punishment, given what it does to a person’s self confidence, while riches produce the most miserable families.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:44
Looney, many of these metaphysical questions arise in modern times because most of us are living unnatural lives. That is a topic by itself. Unemployment in God’s world does not exist. It does in man’s.
Friday, January 29th 2010 at 21:39 |
Ramana, as so often I don’t follow the reasoning. No doubt it’s because neither I or my life are remotely perfect. Which is fine with me. I love them both [me and my life], warts and all.
“Don’t do onto others as you don’t want to be done by”. Absolutely. Couldn’t agree more. Maxim of my life. However, pain thresholds vary: What you might bear easily can prove a stretch too far for the one you are doing it to. A thought to keep in mind at all times otherwise often leading to kicking yourself when you didn’t manage to get the measure of the other person before it’s too late.
As to “work”. How do you define “work”? What is one person’s penance is another’s heaven.
U
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:43
Ursula, my definition of work has been, for the past three decades, something that I do, when I would rather be doing something else.
Friday, January 29th 2010 at 22:18 |
Funny, but I don’t remember that work was a punishment put on Adam and Eve. Perhaps, I slept through that lesson in school or simply dismissed it because in my family, my father’s job was all-important to our well-being. Teaching was always my gift and although I loved my pay-check and I would be the first to fight for more pay for teachers, it was not the reason for my choice of careers.
I have always looked forward to your blogs and to seeing the world through your eyes. It looks like the changes to a “modern way” of thinking bring to India many of the problems Americans have faced for decades.. Our families live separately often many miles away. We subscribe to the idea of “community”, yet do not even know our neighbors names. Our elderly often end up in less than desirable “homes for the aged” and pay a very high premium for this priveledge.
Gee, I am turning this into a less than perfect moment so I will end using my imaginaton and seeing the two of us sharing a drink – mine will be coffee and yours ? We will look out over a beautiful green meadow with young deer who have come to eat the tall grasses, and we will talk about all the beautiful moments in life. There, I feel better all ready.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:41
Mine will be tea and lots of it too!
Friday, January 29th 2010 at 22:45 |
You have followed a path similar to one that I trod early this week when considering how to approach this topic. It is much easier to live a perfect life without others around who have other ideas. I think the shrinking of the world due to technology and the increasing population are putting similar strains on all of us as cultures, too.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:40
Yes, very true. Quite how to handle those strains is the biggest problem humanity faces today.
Saturday, January 30th 2010 at 00:52 |
As you have a way of doing, you have the “perfect” insight. Though I’m not sure about pulling oneself away from attachments and going to the forrest to wait to die. I think the last years can be as fulfilling as I make them. Helping others, mainly, my family. I’ll have to think on that for a bit. For some reason, “Going down with a fight comes to my way of ending my life.”
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:37
Judy, the idea of death for Eastern Religions and ways of life is different than that of others. Death is not the opposite of Life. There is no opposite to Life in our system of philosophies. The opposite of death is birth. Life in this physical form or any other is permanent.
Saturday, January 30th 2010 at 00:57 |
Adam and Eve did work before the Fall. God told Adam that it was his job to tend the plants and whatever work there was in Eden. After they sinned (disobeyed the Father) then they could not enjoy wealth as a right; they had to work for it and there was a lot of tribulation attached to their lives i.e. pain, sickness, threat of poverty etc. The Protestant side of Christianity has a strong work ethic. Catholics are a lot less bothered about things like that and more into guilt and, some would say, repression.
The Hindu vision of the perfect life is interesting and very practical, but very difficult to live up to. I certainly wouldn’t like to see my old people going into the forest to wait for death. It is an ideal, and like many ideals, provides a blueprint, a pattern. But the circumstances of many people can’t allow them to follow it….
Ursula Reply:
January 30th, 2010 at 13:39
gaelikaa, wonderfully short, and to the point, your observation as to the difference between a Protestant and a Catholic.
Mind you, mix being both a Catholic and an American and you have a concoction which dares not take more than two weeks’ holiday a year lest they might lose their livelyhood. It really is quite fantastic. A Santa Monica/California friend of mine (now living in Britain) will drag herself to work when she should be tucked up on the sofa and watch day time television for her sins. But then, as Bike Hike Babe said, the American health system so attrocious you literally can’t AFFORD to succumb to any illness. It’s drummed into their mindset even when living in civilization (also known as Europe). I digress. I’d love to hear from the American contributors to Ramana’s blog and their take on the subject.
As to dying in the forest: A romantic idea, one I am most certainly not adverse to; but as you say, dying is not just about yourself ;it’s about those you leave behind too. A doctor might argue that retreating into the woods is a more benign form of dying than the man/woman in the white coat letting you die slowly by withdrawing food and drink. Oh, gaelikaa, here we go again: Straight into the realms of euthanasia.
U
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:31
Ursula, in going off to the forest to await death, the society does not abandon the sanyasins. Be it the family or nearby villagers, sustenance and minimum care without intrusion is provided to the renunciates, as part of our way of life. In India, even in forests, one is never far away from fellow human beings and settlements.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:34
Please see my response to Ursula. What happens in practice is precisely what is wrong in my opinion.
Saturday, January 30th 2010 at 02:01 |
I’ve always figured a life that ends in old age (possibly) and death (certainly) will never be perfect. So what? That’s no reason not to be grateful and to do the best with what we’ve been given.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:39
Perfection itself is a myth. And that is the problem with most of us wanting to be perfect. “So what?” is the correct way to respond to that too.
Saturday, January 30th 2010 at 10:33 |
It seems that as we age, we mourn what was. Each generation remembers a different way of life…some good, some bad.
“…concerned with the achievable rather than the ideal.” – I like this practical approach. Although, what one sees and believes as achievable another sees as insurmountable.
Therein lies our journey.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:38
Indeed. You have put it very nicely indeed.
Saturday, January 30th 2010 at 14:26 |
Excellent summary of the Indian way of life, Mr. R. A couple of additional observations, if I may. You are a “karmayogi” as opposed to being a “dharmayogi”. I much prefer the company of “karmayogis”, since that path is harder.
On a lighter note, give me a few years and we will renounce the material world together; once my home in the mountains is ready!
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:28
Talk about yourself young Sandeep. I have no intention of renouncing all those devotees who will flock to our place for my darshan and prasad.
Saturday, January 30th 2010 at 21:59 |
Sounds like a perfect life to me.
Got me thinking. Ursula’s “As to “work”. How do you define “work”? What is one person’s penance is another’s heaven.”
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:26
For me, if I am doing something instead of doing something else that I would rather be doing, that is work.
Sunday, January 31st 2010 at 16:55 |
In an ideal world, we would all do work we found enjoyable and fulfilling, and there would be little distinction between work and play, but in reality many people are forced to do work they loathe and it is quite contrary to anything playful. Capitalism, the profit motive and the artificial division of labour is of course mainly to blame for this dreary state of affairs, but so is our willingness to put up with it and not demand a more civilised way of doing things.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:25
Nick, it has been my experience gained through observation of one fact. Once one makes it to the middle class, lower, middle or upper middle class, makes no difference, suffering as we normally know does not happen. Makes me a strong believer in Karma. You reach there, you can live a life of a beatnick or a hippy and survive happily.
Sunday, January 31st 2010 at 19:01 |
Down with capitalism!
I think you are spot on about the American/Western mentality. I feel like I work so much I can’t breathe. And I certainly can’t succumb to illness, lest I get behind. I’d also like to add that I think that many believe that if they work hard, the result will eventually be “the perfect life” or at least, “The American Dream” – picket fence around the little white house, with roses in the garden. The truth is because of our classist system, achieving the American dream is next to impossible for most. “Education is the great equalizer,” we yell, and then make sure that only the rich schools get money, while the poor schools close. (sigh)
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:23
I sigh with you Ginger. It is no better here. I am glad that I am out of the rat race.
Sunday, January 31st 2010 at 21:41 |
I am not sure about much but this I am sure of (at least for me)- God wants me to be truly happy. Not the happiness that I think I want but true contentment that comes in seeing others happy. There is no other feeling like it. Each day I ask to be put where I can be of the most service and then I go to work.
I believe that the true importance of life is not to accumulate but to disseminate – give not receive – it is through giving that I receive.
Rummuser Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 21:22
Couldn’t agree more Phil. Knowing you as I do, I can quite see where that comes from too.