Precision in Relationships.
By Ramana Rajgopaul. Filed in People, Politics, Relationships, Tambrams |Tags: Nomenclatures, Relationships
Have had an eventful week-end and beginning for the week. I had a friend of fifty years come over from the USA to stay with us for a few days. He is planning on returning to India to retire here and is on an exploratory visit. He left for Hyderabad earlier this afternoon.
Both of us were struggling salesmen when we met at an Irani tea shop in Hyderabad. This was a popular meeting place for many salesmen and other regulars. We became good friends and eventually became relatives as well. We married cousins and so became brothers in law.
That is what set me off writing this post. In English, it is simple. We are brothers in law. In the Indian system, it is more precise. In Tamil we are shattagars and in Hindustani, Sadubhais. The Indian, with his particular obsession about relationships, calls this relationship, ‘Co-brothers’, when he is speaking English.
I have always wondered why we Indians are so particular about our relationships. Why can’t we simply use a word like uncle, or aunt or nephew or niece? In India, we have Chacha, Kaka, Mama, Chachi, Kaki, Mami, Bhanja, Bhathija etc.
Just some random musings on our peculiarities. What do you think? Should we follow the English system and simplify?
Wednesday, September 3rd 2008 at 02:47 |
Hmm, that’s an interesting situation. I didn’t realize the Indian language was so particular in those matters. It would be selfish of me to say you should follow the English system because I would only say that so that I could follow along in your posts and understand the relationships. But it would be interesting to read your explanations of the different Indian words for relationships.
Wednesday, September 3rd 2008 at 09:33 |
I am always intrigued by how “we” appear to those from another country, my name might be Karen, yet i have had a zillion nicknames, none of which I would ever consider valid, with the exception of course of Mother Earth, which has been a constant forever. Much better than hammerhead or guts hanrahan, wouldn’t you agree? I think it would be interesting to hear what those words mean and why. Educating is a great way to communicate our differences and our parallels
Wednesday, September 3rd 2008 at 09:35 |
@teeni: Okay, I shall try and make a list of all the specific names in a separate post.
Wednesday, September 3rd 2008 at 11:00 |
I am delighted that you found my idea interesting and I appreciate the welcome too
Thursday, September 4th 2008 at 06:51 |
i will say, use both hehehe. I love reading all your posts because i am learning about indian coltures, plus i enjoy other people’s opinion too..
by the way, i have an award for you! Just come and check it out.. If you are interested, you can copy and paste it here in your blog.. Pls let me know.. God bless!
roses last blog post..Awesome Site Award
Thursday, September 4th 2008 at 11:36 |
@rose: Thank you. I shall indeed be honored to accept. Shall do the needful.
Thursday, September 4th 2008 at 12:44 |
hello rummy (can i address you with that?)… pls save the picture of the award first by pointing the cursor on the photo at my blog then right click the mouse and click the save picture as….Once you saved it, you can just download it on the post where you make the text for the award. Hope this help, pls let me know if you need any help with linking or putting up the link!
roses last blog post..Awesome Site Award
Thursday, September 4th 2008 at 12:48 |
@rose: Thank you. Shall try and see what happens. You may call me Rummy indeed. Scores do!!
Thursday, September 4th 2008 at 15:52 |
There are very good reasons why we use a more complex system of addressing our relatives than the west. The simple explanation is that our relationships are so much more complex. Status and obligations are the primary drivers of this. Keeping aside the morality of this for a moment, we all know that the man who marries ones daughter has to be kept appeased and therefore his entire family must remain happy. Thus cultural, religious and social rules force us to acknowledge that in the form of the titles we give them. By the same token, the inverse of that relationship is also unequal in the opposite direction. Hence the names we give these two relationships have to be different. Similarly in a patriarchy, the fathers relatives have a different status than the mothers – both can’t be uncles because people wouldn’t know exactly how low to bow before either one.
Social Anthropology has all the answers to such questions.
Cheers.
Anil
Thursday, September 4th 2008 at 16:55 |
@Anil Gupte: Wow! That takes my breath away!! Quite revealing. I have undertaken to give an exhaustive list of all such names with their explanations. I wonder if it exists somewhere in the webworld already! Any idea?
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 09:33 |
I thought, we should maintained the tradition of our ancestor, from where we came. I see The Indonesian government tried to maintain their typical culture from the influence of the global culture. I myself could see the uniqueness from India, China, Indonesia that was awesome. But the most important was those just only about unique, tradition, and culture, NOT for differences.
love-elys last blog post..If One Why Different
Wednesday, October 1st 2008 at 09:23 |
I have always thought that relationships in India are enriched by the exact terminology given to each association. In English the only distinction of say an ‘aunt’ is maternal or paternal and the prefix ‘great’ can be added to it to demarcate a generation. A friend of a parent can also be aunt. So it is not clear how this ‘aunt’ is connected to the addressee.
In India the specific name given to relationship automatically id’s the connection to the addressee and the person listening to it.
I think this worked really well in Joint Family’s where different generations lived harmoniously together. It was easy to address a person, call out to them or refer to them. The particular name also carried an unidentifiable pride and bond with the person.
A blanket terminology of Uncle and Aunt according to me does not bring the person in the relationship closer. I would rather have my children bond with you as Ramana Mama–their mother’s brother-than Ramana Uncle!
PN
Wednesday, September 3rd 2008 at 09:38 |
True. This is why the blogworld fascinates me. Here is a classic reason, your visiting my blog and commenting! Apart from welcoming you, I now have an idea to post a series of articles on some of these unknown factors of Indian idiosyncrasies.
Wednesday, October 1st 2008 at 21:55 |
How can disagree with you?