I was under the impression that Indian cities were the worst in the world for women due to sexual harassment that they face. Here is a sobering thought about the situtation. It is also another fact that among all the cities in India, Delhi is the worst with one in four registered complaints coming from that city, our capital.
So, this article in the Guardian came as a complete surprise to me. My memory of the London of my visits had not prepared me for this shocking news.
Our two capitals seem to compete with each other for the fist place.
What is it that drives these men to such despicable acts? The most reasonable answer that I have received is that they are frustrated in their personal lives and take it out on women who are perceived to be easy targets and fair game. I suspect that there is more. In the case of India, single men migrate to cities to seek some kind of employment not available to them in their native towns or villages and are subject to loneliness, and also the very suggestive Indian films and television programs that make it appear as though securing the attention of women is very easy.
Whatever the reason, quite why this should happen in London is beyond my understanding.ime
Nick, over at his, picked up on this subject too. I do not know what he is talking about but then Nick, being a man, does like to dwell on a woman’s lot.
Let me repeat, slight rephrased, what I said to him: Women are perfectly capable of looking after themselves. Too much is made of ‘harassment’. Please, all of you men, wolf whistle at me, grope me at your peril, your pleasure or mine, but do spare me being so condescending. If, and when, I need a knight in shining armour to “rescue” this maiden I’ll whistle.
U
Ursula recently posted..Curvy
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:48
I think that you have missed the point Ursula. I was not being condescending. I was being harsh on the men.
When did teasing become harassment? If that is the case then EVERY male I know harasses me!
Grannymar recently posted..Openings 37 ~ A hole
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:48
I think that Craig’s comment answers your question quite well Grannymar.
I’m just sick of women being blamed for attracting the attention. Actually, a lot of Indian men are brought up by their mothers (also women) to think that women who look and dress a certain way are bad, the others good. Why is it we have to be extra careful all the time because these men are unable to control themselves? The “she asled for it….” syndrome.
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:49
I don’t recollect doing that Mitali. I am against the low life which indulges in this obnoxious practice.
Mitali Chinmulgund Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 13:45
Did not mean you did anything of the sort!
wow! a hotly debated topic.
on one hand i wish the entire world would act in a more civilized mannerly way toward each other …
men and women both for that matter.
however…
i don’t know how they dress in london or india for that kind of attention… but it seems to me…
when you wear a little skirt about four inches long and spiked heels to show off your legs from your crotch to your toes… well, sorry mitali, (your company possibly excepted) … you are going to get the “wrong” kind of attention from men. you are ‘advertising.’ and we all know it.
i do not mean you have to be covered from head to toe. but so many young girls in our country flaunt their breasts, their butts and their bare legs that it’s as if they want the attention just so they can complain about it.
no blame here. just an observation.
that being said… any many who would harrass a little eleven year old child in any way whatsoever, should be dealt with harshly and immediately.
tammy Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 03:00
any man.
not any many!
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:52
The low life that indulges in this do not need any kind of dressing them to work itself up. As long as it is a woman, it is good enough. And don’t get me started off on child molesters.
Being teased sexually is a compliment.
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:53
I have said this before, you are awesome BHB.
Well, you know my views on this subject, as does Ursula. For all those men who are merely indulging in “sexual teasing” there are plenty more who are simply unwanted pests intruding on women’s privacy and annoying them (or even attacking them) for no good reason. If that’s condescending, then maybe helping anyone with a problem is condescending….
Nick recently posted..Rude and crude
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:54
I do not think that either your post or mine is condescending. I rest my case.
Ursula Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 19:55
Ok, if it so offends let’s forget about being ‘condescending’. Why not use the word ‘exasperating’ instead?
I resent men trying to make me, woman, little. A victim.There is no doubt that men, on the whole, are – physically – stronger than women. Sweethearts, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
Facts are facts, and no man will deny it, and no woman will hold it against a man: Watch body language every time you meet a man. They don’t do it on purpose. It’s a reflex. Even the most educated and well mannered will look you up and down. Only takes a nano second. It’s nature. Doesn’t matter. What does matter when a man – who knows nothing about woman – draws attention to the ninnies among my gender.. Fact is that the likes of Nick – who, to my mind, has a peculiarly strange leaning to take up “women’s causes” as if we needed it – makes himself an advocate where none is needed.
Let me put it another way: Men like Nick like to feel that ‘helpless’ woman needs a man.. I do NOT need a man, nice at it is when I hang on an arm, lean against a shoulder, to look after me. As I said: Should I need a knight in shining armour I’ll whistle.
I am not saying that I haven’t been in situations (one springs to mind which shook even me – briefly) which crossed the boundaries of good taste. Oddly, and think about it, men, it was my then husband who took more offence than I did. Oh the drama of it. Not only was the piglet made to apologize to me but the whole company did. Purleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese. Yes, this was in Cyprus. Cypriots look after their women. The culprit, just so that you know, was a clean living Swiss. The Swiss have a lot to answer for.
U
Ursula recently posted..Curvy
Rummuser Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 18:06
Frankly I am unable to understand why you are taking this so personally. I am on your (women’s) side. Neither Nick nor I have said anywhere that the women who get such attention deserve it. Nor have we suggested that the women are the weaker sex. Both of us took a newspaper article and expressed our disgust with the men who behave in that way. Neither of us have ever behaved like that nor do I suppose that we are capable of in the future. You have my assurance that I will not ever feel that you are a helpless woman in need of my support. I shall of course respond to your whistle if you did whistle for help. I shall respond if you whistle for some fun too, as I hope you will if I whistle too.
Coming to Ninnies, I can assure you that I will go to the help of male ninnies too. I have seen a number of those too and where possible, I have gone to their rescue too as people who know me in my personal life will attest to. In fact, I will go to the rescue of animals and birds too if I see them ill treated.
Coming to my angst, it was all about London, a city that I love, facing this problem. You appear to have overlooked that completely.
Ursula Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 22:56
There are no ‘sides’, Ramana.
You may wish to visit my offering of http://bitchontheblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/i-hate-gender-stereotyping/
U
Ursula recently posted..I hate gender stereotyping
Rummuser Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 20:31
Thine wish is mine command. Visited and left my comments there.
I think that this sort of article (the one in the Guardian), and particularly the statistics relied on, need carefully to be considered and analysed before drawing conclusions from them. Professionally, I act for both Claimants and Respondents in relation to sexual harassment claims, and there is a very wide spectrum of behaviour which, subjectively, some individuals will think amounts to harassment where others (including the Courts) will not agree. On the one hand, plainly the physical groping is entirely unacceptable (indeed, it’s a criminal offence). And there can be no doubt that there is a small minority of horrible people out there who will behave in such an appropriate manner. But anyone who has travelled on the London Tube during rush hour will know quite how packed it becomes and how difficult it can be to stand up straight, let alone know where your arms/legs are. I have been accused of touching a woman inappropriately on a packed Tube, and those of you who know me will know a number of reasons why there is no way that I would do that. My point is only that you need to be careful on relying on subjective surveys before reaching conclusions. Equally, there are a number of comments made which are inappropriate, and which in an idea world should never be said. But anyone who lives in this city knows that, if you get on a Tube late at night, particularly at the weekend, there will often be a lot of drunk people on their way home/to the next venue. Anyone (whether male or female) risks being subjected to ‘banter’. Of course, in an ideal world, that wouldn’t happen, but the reality is that when you live in one of the biggest, most vibrant and diverse cities in the world, then these things are going to happen. So, Periappa, I think the answer to your final comment “why this should happen in London is beyond my understanding” is: it’s a sad fact of any life in a massive City, and in relation to the more serious behaviour there are always going to be evil/unpleasant people in such a big city. Reluctantly accepting that reality, my view is that concern (and public campaigns/policing) need to be focussed on behaviour which crosses the line between ‘banter’ and intimidation, and any sort of physical threats/behaviour, but I know it’s a very controversial area…
Rummuser Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 18:56
Craig thank you for those very thoughtful and well presented comments. I quite agree but people like Mitali who has commented here and who have experienced such vile behaviour will always have a different take on the subject than perhaps what a court of law would.
Well, as usual, Ursula, you’ve made a whole string of assumptions about me, most of which are wrong. I doubt if any woman I know would agree that I see women as helpless or in need of a knight in shining armour. I doubt also if they would object to my taking up “women’s causes”. I could be wrong of course. But I won’t go on, long arguments bore me. I’m a bit girly like that.
Nick recently posted..Rude and crude
Ursula Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 23:28
“Long arguments” bore you, Nick. Do they? You call yourself “a bit girly” that way. You know something, Nick? That’s an insult. I’d rather you wolf whistled me. An irony lost on you.
Why not just come right out with it and declare that Nick, the man, has no stamina? And I bet you are so ‘girly’ you don’t even know how to whistle. Take heart, Nick: Neither do I. That’s how ‘girly’ I am.
In future, Nick, I will leave your inner girl to her low boredom threshold. Goldfish too have a limited attention span.
U
Ursula recently posted..Curvy
Grannymar Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 23:50
There you go again Ursula… forgetting the etiquette of blogging:- Attack the topic and not the person. As the only commenter round here to have actually met Nick on several occasions, and in different situations, I can only say that he is a perfect gentleman who treats women as his equal and at the same time with great respect. We have never lacked for topics of conversation and were certainly never bored.
Grannymar recently posted..Dividers
Ursula Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 04:01
Grannymar, I am a little sick of you reminding me of “blogiquette”. We have two choices: Either we have a proper exchange or just tea on the lawn. Nick gave his opinion. I gave mine. There is no doubt, and I can not be the only one who has noticed that Nick makes himself a speaker for women. Drawing attention to issues where no attention is needed. Only to then shirk an issue when a woman, in this case me, questions him.
If you think it’s ok to use the term ‘girly’ as an excuse to cop out – fine. Maybe Nick will take it up in one of his next posts: How ‘girly’ when used by a man demeans women. How’s that for a laugh?
U
Ursula recently posted..Off with the fairies
Nick Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 01:31
Oh dear, you have no better response than to resort to a stream of abuse. How sad.
Nick recently posted..Rude and crude
Ursula Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 04:00
No, Nick, there is nothing sad about my response at all. It wasn’t abusive. You cop out of a discussion. I state things as I see them. And you hide behind Grannymar’s skirt. No doubt, that is the girl in you. Sweet.
U
Ursula recently posted..Off with the fairies
Thank you , Grannymar.
Nick recently posted..Rude and crude
My husband came on to me & I accused him of Sexual Harassment. He thought that was very funny. But it was late & I was tired.
This post made me do that.
Rummuser Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 18:19
Please apologize on my behalf.
bikehikebabe Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 18:58
No need to apologize. I should have added an LOL. But the comments up to here were serious. And such GOOD WRITERS these people are. I hope they don’t take themselves too seriously. You have to enjoy blogging
Rummuser Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 19:02
Thank you BHB. I am sure that the bloggers and commentators here do enjoy the process. Why would they spend on it otherwise?
As horrific as the topic you bring up is, I find it ironic that you talk about suggestive Indian films and TV when the majority of your films break into song and dance whenever couples are close to showing almost any affection with each other. Compare that to American fare and your movies would be rated G, for kids here.
Instead, I tend to believe these kinds of things happen because of long standing cultural issues which see women as second class citizens. The thing is, your country had a female leader at one point, and one might have thought that would change the opinions of many men, but like in this country having a president of color didn’t end racism, so I guess it was too much to ask for sexism to end anywhere else. And that’s too bad.
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Rummuser Reply:
May 28th, 2012 at 18:20
I quite agree with your second paragraph Mitch. About the first, that is precisely the problem. These morons know that they cannot break into song and dance in real life and substitute that for obnoxious behaviour.
Sexual harassment, especially common among women, is something that I feel strongly against. I’ve heard a lot of stories about women getting harassed by Indian men, though not generally. Media for one, has a strong influence on such acts.
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As human beings, at the base level it’s a lack of respect of another’s personal space. There are aspects of historic treatment of women that still pervail and some cultures still unrightly view women as second class citizens.
There is an awful lot of people still living in the Stone Age, waiting to grow up. You see this same harassment all over the world, including here in Australia. And bear in mind, harassment applies to both genders too.
What is it that drives these men to such despicable acts?
Harassers today may want to isolate you so that they have you to themselves. This can be an invitation to a subordinate to share an alcoholic drink or to remain at work after hours for no apparent reason. Beware of such invitations! As they may be the one that will catch you into the bad web of the sexual harasser.
I pity those woman who are sexually harassed Indian men are really naughty and horny even on the Internet,they show how horny they are when it comes to sex and i find them the desperate one.
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At this time that much abuse the women especially innocent children. At their young age they suffer sexual harassment by their neighbors and the worst if from their father, they don’t know they ruin ones future and dreams.
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