I am getting to be serious again!

Two beggars

Two beggars

Gail says “Rummy, now you are getting serious! What are we going to do with you?”
I have got the message. You do not have to do anything Gail, just keep reading my blog posts.

1.

Iqbal and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London
Habib begs just as long as Iqbal but only collects £2 to £3 a day.
Iqbal brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Habib says to Iqbal ‘I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you
bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?’
Iqbal says, ‘Look at your sign, what does it say’?
Habib’s sign reads ‘I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support’.
Iqbal says ‘No wonder you only get £2- £3
Habib says…
‘So what does your sign say’?
Iqbal shows Habib his sign….
It reads, ‘I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan !

2.

The irreducible number and type of tests to identify a Taliban are given below. Please keep a copy of this with you in order to confirm your suspicions. This list has been thoughtfully sent by a friend of mine whose credentials are impeccable.

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon ‘unclean..’
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6.. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You’ve often uttered the phrase, ‘I love what you’ve done with your cave.’
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You have a crush on your neighbour’s goat.

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