Weekly Humour.

Grannymar has a joke or a funny story every Thursday on her blog. I was wondering what to write about today, and wondered whether I too should. Then, three great mails came to me as though from Heaven, and I decided to emulate her, at least for this week. Without much ado here they are.

The first is a story which follows the comments on my blog on the smoke gadget from Conrad about being called a Turkey.

The Christmas Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth
was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying
only polite, words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John,
in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer.

For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and
said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to
ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the
bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

The next is to honour the much maligned Tiger Woods.

tigerwoodsmlyn991l

This one is so British that it took me a while to get it. I hope that the others will not find it so difficult.

gentleman

STOP PRESS:

Here is a beut from Anu’s blog.

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
‘Why so less for such a beautiful parrot?’ she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
‘Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live at a brothel earlier and sometimes it says some inappropriate stuff.’
The woman thought about this, but decided she wanted to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, ‘New house, New madam.’
The woman was a bit taken back at the implication, but then thought ‘that’s really not so bad.’
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, ‘New house, New madam, New girls.’
The girls and the woman were offended at first but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman’s husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

‘Hi, Keith!’ 😀 😀 😀

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