What Is The Biggest Mistake You Have Made In Your Life? 2 On 1 #4

Even today, after 52 years, the scene makes me shudder and my reaction is exactly like Homer’s here.

The mistake was in getting into a relationship with a volatile lady.

The consequences were what made that the biggest mistake in my life.

I have briefly mentioned it in my post on Ambition, but let me give some details.

The relationship was rocky for many reasons but primarily because of a very possessive nature of the lady concerned. When the inevitable end to the relationship came, she got me imprisoned by her family with plans to get the two of us married the next day. Quite how I got out of that particular situation is material for another post at some future date.

The scene then shifted to where I was living then. My brother Arvind and I were staying with a couple who were very close friends of our parents. We had known them from our childhood and had spent much time with them in our childhood as they were childless and we were much liked by them.  The gentleman was a Senior Police Officer and was staying in a semi gated community of quarters for serving Police Officers. We were on the upper floor of a two storied building of two flats.

Two days after I was able to get away from the mess, the lady and her sister landed up downstairs in the open quadrangle below the flat and let off a tirade against me, my brother and our hosts. The language, to say the least, was anything but parliamentary, and something that that particular society had not expected to hear within their semi gated community. The decibels were loud enough to wake up the entire colony on that early morning.

After about ten minutes of that harangue they left threatening me with dire consequences. The damage however, was done.

Naturally, Arvind and I had to vacate those very comfortable digs and move to a hostel of sorts some distance away from the scene of action. Subsequently, I thought it prudent to leave the city for a while and you can read about it the post for which I have given the link above.

The negative consequences were:

No amount of apologies to my hosts were of use as, a highly respected officer suffered quite a bit of humiliation because of my mistake. On all my subsequent visits to him till his death a couple of decades ago, he would remember that instance and gently chide me for the trouble caused.

Arvind had to give up that nice comfortable accommodation and move to a much less desirable one.

I had to wind up a comfortable existence and move out of the city.

The positive consequence was:

I went to Business School and that made me what I am today. I doubt very much that without that qualification, I would have achieved some of the successes that I did in my life.

Shackman picked this week’s topic and so I will choose next week’s. Be sure to check Shackman’s take on this week’s topic.

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19 Responses to What Is The Biggest Mistake You Have Made In Your Life? 2 On 1 #4

  1. kylie says:

    I’m rather relieved you got out of that situation, whatever mistakes were involved.
    kylie recently posted..Nordic gems

  2. Amazing the way things turn out, isn’t it? You obviously learned, and moved on to better things! I’m glad you were able to take the measures you did to put the incident behind you. It seems that’s all we can do when others decide to damage us.
    Still the Lucky Few recently posted..Oh, Those January Blues!

  3. Yes,it is interesting how thoings evolve over time. It is also interesting how our vfiew of things changes over time

  4. It’s too bad your brother and your hosts had to suffer, but it sounds as if it worked out well for you. Good Lord!
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Why Don’t They Believe Me?

  5. wow how unpleasant for you and your brother…

    I’ve made a few (some bigger than others) mistakes, that seemed monumental at the time…but looking back, they were just part of “living and life”

  6. Ursula says:

    It’s stories like these, Ramana, that show baffling cultural differences. When I say “differences” I mean I am left uncomprehending.

    Here a banshee screaming abuse at you in public would be the one ostracized. And why would you and your brother be shown the door? The “stain” on your mentors’ reputation – already having been left – won’t have lifted by your departure. I am a great believer in holding your head up high in the face of public shame. Let’s see who has shown the most dignity once dusk settles.

    Other than that, Ramana, the word “volatile”, particularly when applied to women, always makes me smile. But that’s another subject.

    Not that the Angel has any plans to conquer India, but shall warn him as to the pitfalls of falling in love with their women.

    U
    Ursula recently posted..Testing

    • You are quite right Ursula. I wish that it was not so but, the banshees, I like the word incidentally, should have been the one at the receiving end, but our society here marches to a different drum beat. It is too complex and complicated to explain but perhaps another blog post beckons.

  7. tammy j says:

    how odd that both of our ‘worst time’ involves a volatile relationship.
    yours before a wonderful marriage and mine after a wonderful marriage.
    I don’t know… you might remember from the peanut when I wrote of
    the abuser in my life a year after my husband died and I was dating again.
    it very nearly cost me my life … being hospitalized and down to 87 pounds.
    the biggest mistake was saying “yes. thank you.” when he of the silky voice
    and hidden volatile ways asked “would you care to dance?”
    the only good from it was that I learned what to take notice of in that kind of personality. and there are definitely signs. (actually in both sexes I would think.)
    tammy j recently posted..moving on old bean

    • I learnt exactly the same lesson from that experience Tammy. I never made that mistake again, though just a little over three years after that episode, I got married to someone who was anything but volatile!

  8. nick says:

    That was certainly an unfortunate episode. Glad to know there was at least one positive outcome.

    Possibly my biggest mistake was not moving to Australia when I was much younger. I really hate the British winters and can’t wait for spring. But then again, if I had moved to Australia I wouldn’t have met Jenny.
    nick recently posted..Hopeless fumblings

  9. Wow, that’s a crazy story. And a little confusing about why someone else’s bad behavior should damage your reputation. At any rate, sounds lie you dodged a bullet.
    Secret Agent Woman recently posted..A walk in the woods.

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