Why Did I Do That?

“The past is the tomorrow that got away.”
-Leonard L. Levinson

Today’s Loose Bloggers’ Consortium topic has been chosen by gaelikaa. I suppose that the intention behind the topic is to talk about those things that we did that we now regret or wish that we could have done differently. A kind of optimism of the past?

Try as I may, I find it hard to think of things that I regret having done. Not that I did everything right but just that I do not have any remorse or regret for having done even those things that eventually turned out to have been not right. Yes, on some occasions, in the immediate after thought, on some occasions, I did feel regret or remorse but as I write this and after much thought, I can honestly say that I am not currently carrying any such baggage.

That is possibly because by and large, my life has been pretty placid. I have had my share of ups and downs but nothing that has left a permanent impression either positively or negatively. I did whatever was appropriate at that point of time and which felt right at that moment, and that was that. Since I have survived quite successfully, reasonably healthy in body and mind, and am financially not in need, I suppose that everything has turned out alright. My karma seems, on balance, to be beneficial.

Three most unexpected-from-me things that I did in the past that stand out for some mention however can be written about.

The first one was my marriage. No one expected me to marry when I did, the way I did and the person I did it with. In retrospect, that turned out to be the greatest success story of my life.

The second was my resigning from a high profile position after having spent half my then life with one employer. Nobody expected that, but even colleagues who thought that I was daft, changed their opinions later, as my life improved quite a bit after that major upheaval.

The third was my spontaneously inviting my father to come and live with me when his wife passed away two years ago. He had had little to do with me during my adult life and both of us are very self reliant people. For sometime after he came to live with me, I did have occasions when I regretted that, but those passed and we have now established a harmonious coexistence that has brought back placidity to my life and that too has turned out to be a satisfactory outcome. There are however moments when because I have to be physically present, I am unable to do somethings, I wish that I had not invited him, but that too passes and increasingly, I have learnt to accept the limitations that particular restriction imposes on me.

How I wish that I could come up with some gory details about things that I did in the past, that I now regret!

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