You Get One Life Do Over; What Would It Be?

It would be one where I did not have to jump out of a second floor french window.

jumping from window

For those of you who have come to the party late, both my hip joints have been replaced, one revised once and the other revised twice. That is why I am a retired hippie.

Okay, humour apart, if I got one life to do over it would begin in September of 2008 when I succumbed to values and invited my late father to come and live with me. The four subsequent years were the most stressful that I have had in my fairly long life and I would not like to have a repeat experience nor would I wish it on anyone else. I am not much for optimism of the past but there have been occasions when I have speculated as to how life would have been for me and my family had he not moved in with us.

But, life goes on, and I have put that part of my life behind me and am now back on placid waters.

I hope that you enjoyed reading my take on this subject which was chosen by Shackman for the weekly Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where five of us write on the same topic. The four other bloggers who write regularly are, in alphabetical order,  AshokgaelikaaMaxi, and Shackman. Do drop in on their blogs and see what their take is on this week’s topic. Since some of them may post late, do give some allowance for that too!

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20 Responses to You Get One Life Do Over; What Would It Be?

  1. Ursula says:

    Gosh, what an amazing question: “ONE life make over”. I certainly know the answer to that one. It goes back a long time and I have not yet forgiven myself. I set a foot wrong. Mitigating circumstance: I was too young, too happy go lucky, to foresee the consequences in later life. Instead of listening to my own instinct (gut feeling) I let myself be swayed by others. How that was possible – given the person I am – I do NOT know. Never mind. If there is such a thing as fate I am sure there was purpose to my folly.

    As to you and your father: I have nothing but admiration for you, and dare say that your siblings feel indebted to you. May your dead father forgive me – I am so very happy for you that the burden eventually lifted. No one wishes death on anyone but sometimes we need to know when it’s time to go.

    U
    Ursula recently posted..Round and round the garden

    • All of us without exception will have those one or two instances in our lives. That is why it is said that we all have stories within us.

      Thank you.

  2. I don’t want a do over. I’m happy where I am right now.

    As I recall, both your wife and your mother wanted you to take your father in. It’s possible they were wise in a way you don’t understand.
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Culvert Work

    • I am happy for you.

      I have no doubts whatsoever that they were both wise. They did not have to go through what I had to!

      • If you really believe there is no free will, then you didn’t have a choice, did you? It was destined to be your lot in life. The grass grows by itself and sometimes the cows and other animals eat it.
        Cheerful Monk recently posted..Culvert Work

        • And that was the motivating factor during the experience – that many negative karmic effects were getting washed out and that the body mind and intellect complex was getting that much nearer to liberation. If I had not had that understanding, I might have just moved him to a home.

        • So why would you want to do it over and make another choice? Why not be grateful that it happened and that it’s now over?
          Cheerful Monk recently posted..Culvert Work

          • What makes you think that I am not? If you read that post again, you will see that I would not , repeat, would not like to have that experience again. That is the only do over that I would want.

  3. nick says:

    There are some things I prefer not to talk about, but certainly one definite do-over would be to have lived in Australia. I’m so fed up with the dismal, freezing winters, and dismal rainy summers, in this country. But I only discovered Australia fairly late in life when moving wasn’t really an option any longer.

    Of course I would also love to have been born into a fabulously wealthy family, but that’s hardly an original idea!
    nick recently posted..Sometimes

  4. I guessed you’d post something about that scenario. Interesting. In my case taking care of Lynn was my chance to make up for all of the wrongs over the years. Unfortunately she was not able to recognize that effort due to the ravages HD caused to her mind. And though I am a huge fan of the music of my past I do not live in the past but I agree with you – we all have secrets and things we regret and I suspect that anyone who says otherwise is either supremely arrogant, a liar or both.

    • You are bang on Chuck. Except that it is also possible that the person could be in total denial. That too happens.

    • Or they might just be blessed with a poor memory. 🙂 As someone once said, “Happiness is having good health and a poor memory.”

      “…we all have secrets and things we regret and I suspect that anyone who says otherwise is either supremely arrogant, a liar or both.” So, why is regretting a sacrifice that you made for someone else — something that sheds a good light on yourself — any less arrogant than learning from past mistakes and moving on?

      As you may have noticed, I take a much more creative approach to life than most people.
      Cheerful Monk recently posted..Culvert Work

      • Ursula says:

        Wow, Cheerful Monk: You “take a MORE creative approach to life than MOST people.” Really? How do you know? I like a certain arrogance in people but the one you have displayed with that one comment is unpalatable.

        Back to your toys, Jean.

        U
        Ursula recently posted..Round and round the garden

  5. Maxi says:

    You went through a horrific ordeal, Rummy. Hopefully, you can live the rest of your days in contentment.
    blessings ~ maxi
    Maxi recently posted..Please Don’t Go

    • Yes Maxi, I am already in a total contentment mode. I do not pray for material things for myself. I do have one prayer for the Almighty and that is for me to go to sleep and not wake up one of these days. I do not want to do to my son what my father did to me.

  6. If I could have one do over it would involve my dad as well. I wasn’t emotionally prepared to hear anything about my dad being sick in any way and I feel I didn’t handle any of it well. I didn’t ask enough questions, didn’t get involved early enough, and still now, 12 years after he left this earth, I feel guilty about a lot of things I wish I’d done differently.
    Mitch Mitchell recently posted..When Free Speech/Privacy Advocates Lose Their Mind

    • No. I do not feel guilty about anything. I did everything humanly possible to keep him happy during his last four years and I honestly think that I deserve the Nobel prize for it.

    • Ursula says:

      Don’t feel guilty, Mitch. About twelve years or so ago my father was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder. My father is as strong as an ox. I couldn’t compute the information. I didn’t want to know – and, helped by the geographical distance (we live in different countries) I didn’t need to. Next time I went back to the motherland he was fully recovered. My mother who is graphic at all times showed me photos of my father at his worst. Mitch, I had to excuse myself from the table to regain composure. I was in shock. I literally couldn’t stomach it. I am not proud of myself that I wasn’t “there” for either my father nor my mother at the worst time. Neither do I feel guilty. And neither should you.

      The happy outcome – as I had always predicted – that my father, at age nearly 77, is still as strong as an ox and as sound of mind, healthy and argumentative as he always was.

      Ursula
      Ursula recently posted..Round and round the garden

  7. tammyj says:

    well… just for the fun of it…
    i would live in london. i would train for the stage and rub shoulders with the likes of judi dench. i would have marvelous roles and even meet the queen! she would invite me for tea. and to pet her corgies.
    well. it’s underlined in red. how do you spell courgies? her dogs!
    i would then retire and be an animal activist. and because i would be extremely wealthy because i was such a good actress… i would spend all my money for the animals’ and children’s rights in the whole world.
    and rummy…
    as they say here in the south… “you’ll have stars in your crown”
    because you stepped up. he was a cantankerous selfish old guy.
    but you were the bigger man. and i so admire and respect you for giving up … LITERALLY giving up those years of your life.
    you can hold your head high my friend. there are many many many who would have put him away and thrown away the key.
    bless you.
    and oh… here’s a huge snoopy hug.
    tammyj recently posted..jerkin’ your chain?

    • Thank you Tammy. No, London would drag you down to its depressing weather related surliness. You would do better in places in the Mediterranean coast.

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